Things That Make A House A Home

After a military relocation to our new home at another base these past weeks, I found the chaos of the move had set my spirit into a tizzy.  Even with months of preparations: giving away old clothes and baby gear to Goodwill, getting rid of unnecessary papers in order to lighten our load, the move proved to be difficult, nonetheless.  With boxes of household items and books everywhere, the box that I had wanted most to find was my piano music scores.  After several days of searching, my husband, Alex, thought that it may be in a pro-gear (professional items) box in the garage - go figure.  Funny, but after several military moves, I didn't feel much like a pro at all.  If anything, I felt pretty overwhelmed. I just wanted to get into some sort of groove as soon as possible.  I was fully aware that this was going to take some time and that I need to drastically lower my expectations and face reality. 

As summers typically go, with our child living with autism, it's not my favorite time of year.  I know that many families can completely relate to the lack of structure and difficulty in finding activities that would suit our kids.  Forget about not wanting to be exhausted all day long; we don't have that luxury that is quickly forgotten about during the school year.  There is only so much time that an average non southern native adult can tolerate in the heat and especially in the heavy humidity.  Every summer seems to present the same dilemma for me.  In fact, it feels like I just wrote something similar about the same time last year.  A summer of relocating however, brings with it additional challenges (on top of which, poor Jake was very sick for over three weeks before the move and we were both cooped up and exhausted).  Some of these challenges involve: getting to know the new area and figuring out resources (while trying to provide some sort of daily structure), making new friends of my own (this should actually fall at the bottom of the list, but lets face it, it's a very real need), finding autism support, dealing with "the broken record" (repetitive words and phrases that autistic kids say) and its effect on my psyche, escalated screams and tantrums (which I affectionately refer to as "the angry peacock" - if you've ever heard a peacock, you know how loud its calls can be), and last but not least, excessive demands for Jake's favorite activity, the king of all kings: the iPad; my dreaded arch nemesis.

You may be thinking that well, what's so bad about the iPad?  It can be used as an educational activity, right? If so, then you are indeed correct.  With some kids living with autism however, if not closely supervised, this activity can quickly turn into an OCD-like, undesired behavior such as: hitting buttons over and over, watching the same thing repeatedly or doing the same program repeatedly.  Somehow, Jake figured out how to get into YouTube and find his favorite Baby Einstein episodes.  He'll watch parts of it repeatedly, just to see the face of the Einstein's head.  We think that he got attached to this image from his baby days, loved it so much, and that image just stuck with him.  Perhaps it was his first childhood friend. 

Even if we delete YouTube, because it's in our user history, Jake figured out how to re-access it.  In the past, we have used the iPad as an activity re-enforcer/motivator in his ABA sessions, and it was incredibly effective.  When he's lounging, and not in therapy, we've set a time limit on it's use and give him transitional updates of how much time he has left in five minute increments.  We break down the last five minutes and announce 5, 3 and 1 minutes, before announcing that time's up, in order to ease his anxiety about the ending of the activity.  This helps him transition out of it into the next one.  For a while, he was only doing educational activities on his I-pad and we were very pleased to see how well he was working with it.  Since this summer's move though, old repetitive behaviors have come back with a vengeance.  This was to be expected.  After all, it's not our first time at the rodeo.  However, it isn't easy to deal with by a couple of not well rested parents.

After several weeks of being in this transitional phase of moving, feeling unsettled and no social time, we went to a Shabbat dinner at the Chabad community center and met some very nice families, including two who were also coping with autism.  Several of the other families were also new in town, so it was nice to be somewhere where others were going through a similar experience.  The newness of our environment, juxtaposed with some very old traditions like lighting the Sabbath candles, good food and good company, was just the thing to make our transition more comfortable.  I have to make a mental note and remember to find things and traditions that are familiar and bring us comfort when faced with lots of new things. 

Part of wanting our family to have a military lifestyle, is that we didn't want our children to feel like they were ever living in a bubble or growing up with a sense of entitlement.  We wanted them to grow up moving around, meeting new friends, seeing how other people live in other cities and countries. Exposing them to different races and religions would help develop a sense of acceptance of all people.  We wanted them to be able to be well adjusted individuals because of their life experiences.  We wanted them to be able to empathize and be accepting of all sorts of differences. This, of course, they are already learning at home, by being siblings to an autistic older brother.  We are already seeing what we hoped for take place.  The twins have adjusted incredibly well to our new home and their summer camp.  I am so proud of our kids!  Putting things into perspective is, in a way, like stepping away from the small details seen through a kaleidoscope, and seeing the bigger picture more clearly.  We sometimes can get easily caught up in the smaller details, but if we take a step back, the reality is so much simpler.

Good news! - this afternoon Alex found the box of my piano music and I eagerly arranged my scores (yes, by composer, in alphabetical order) on the living room shelf that's across from the piano.  Looking around, I see that things are actually starting to come together nicely.  I look at the wall hangings and masks that we have up from places that Alex and I have traveled to together.  There are still stacks of family photos waiting there for me to put up and fill up more wall space.  You know, this is probably the thing that I most enjoy doing after moving - decorating.  I plan on taking my time putting up the rest of the photos.  With each one up, I bond with the new home a little more, letting it also get to know its inhabitants a little more as well.  The military owned property in this little beach town is starting to look like a home; our home. With all the moves we've already had, and with more future moves yet to come, Alex really puts it best: Wherever you and the kids are - that's what I call my home.  I couldn't agree more.  

Moving Forward In The New Year

­Another year in our lives has come and gone.  It is a new month, a new week and another cold, but sunny, winter day.  One of the perks that I have come to cherish while living in the south is that I can almost always look forward to a sunny blue sky during this time of year.  Having recently visited the northwest, I found that I had really missed this element of the season. 

I sit here with my musical Soundscapes, the space heater hums away and my down-feathered slipper booties keep me warm and cozy.  I have tried to write recently, but I haven't been able to clear my mind and focus.  I have to be in a creative mode to write, compose, and to just create in general.  If I get in the right mood, things tend to reveal themselves.  The last half a year however, has been less about reflecting and more about action - putting thoughts and goals into motion.  It's hard to quiet your mind when you are in motion and your wheels are still spinning.  That's why I like to find a Zen place in my mind, so that creativity can begin to flow.  It is at these mind-freeing moments that I know that all of the rest will take care of itself.

Finding A Balance - Family Needs Versus Self Needs

Over the past few months I have been trying to find a state of balance in my life.  More specifically, I have been trying to find it in both larger and smaller scopes.  Doing so has enabled me to balance family life with time for myself.  This process started with an image; something that embodies the idea of what balance is for me.  I asked myself what I need and want, set some goals, came up with a realistic plan, and finally, I took action and followed through with that plan.  

The first image that came to my mind was a kaleidoscope.  When we look through a kaleidoscope, we see a vibrant image, but are drawn into the smaller details that produce that image.  The dual, large and small, shapes coexist and are therefore interconnected.  One cannot exist without the other.  Likewise, the family unit is that larger image.  What our role as parents is within our family unit, in contrast to who we are as individuals, affects and plays into the larger family dynamic.  The individual family members are the smaller (but important) details of what makes up the larger image of the family as a single entity.  All too often, we tend to put personal needs aside and focus on the larger image, and what's best for the family usually comes first.  If our individual needs are not met however, it means that the family unit can’t function at it's best.   

The imagery of the kaleidoscope reminded me of something else as well.  I had come across the terms macro and micro in a music theory class years ago, as being two distinct ways of looking at a composition. One way, is to look at the larger picture: the form, foundation, shape of the piece, the expression and how everything is held together structurally.  Then there are also the smaller details: the notes, rhythms, motives, themes and stylistic nuances.  What I didn't realize at the time was what a big role this concept would play in my personal journey and how it would shape my overall perception.   

Looking through the kaleidoscope while perceiving the micro/macro structure and details had made a lasting impression on me.  It is as if a seed had been planted into my mind, later sprouting branches and leaves that open up into that southern winter sky.  They seep in through the lacy intricacies of my life, as swiftly as a breeze blowing in through a soft lace-curtained window.  Consequently, it had become almost a theme, or a motive for me after starting a family.  Since both large structure and small details exist simultaneously, finding that balance in our lives, in a sense, is a multitasking activity.  However, even when we multitask, we still only really do one thing at a time.  How can we be at two places at once? 

A more literal image that comes to my mind when thinking about balance is a scale; like one of those old manually balancing ones.  Depending on which end of the scale things become overburdened, the scale ultimately ends up tipping over towards that one direction.   For example, if a spouse is out of town, and we single-parent for say, a week, the stress and irregularity of that week will end up causing us to use up much more of our own energy than what we are used to.  Typically, the job is split between two parents.  This type of situation, where a spouse pulls double duty, would cause that life-scale to tip to the overburdened side - the spouse in charge of the kids and the house.  These type of situations would cause us to feel like we had lost our balance.  When we lose our balance, it feels like the spiraling chain reaction signals our brain to think that we need to do a better job at keeping the momentum moving forward.  We crave for things to move forward at a comfortable steady pace, in order to keep that dauntingly large life-scale at just the right angle, so that it stays centered.  We do this all in order to achieve the all-too-desirable balance. 

This process leads me to revisit the question of why then should we bother to find or create a balance, when it takes so much darn energy?  Especially when as special needs parents, we don't have much of it to begin with.  I mean, is it truly worth all of the effort?  Well, if I search deep within and tap into a purely intuitive response, my answer is always: to be happy and to have peace of mind.  Part of having that peace of mind however, is to know that I did whatever I could to create that balance, so that later on I could in turn have that peace of mind.  The ultimate goal then becomes holding on to that peace (and also, that piece) for as long as possible.  But after all, it doesn't last long, unless I work on creating, recreating and achieving that sought-after balance on a regular basis.  I truly believe that when we have this precious balance in our lives, we are happy and at peace.

Don't Forget To Nurture (Yourself)

Military life with twins and a special needs child has been a very unique experience.  All of our kids have undergone speech therapy.  As I've discussed in other posts, for the twins it was a pure speech delay, and for Jake it was autism related.  There was a time period when all three kids were in diapers simultaneously and not talking yet.  I know that the stress of that time must have taken a toll on me.  At the time my focus was on moving forward, no matter how slowly.  That seems like ages ago, but it was only a few years ago. Life has definitely caught up to me now in my forties.  It is not only about taking care of the family and balancing it with part time music teaching anymore, it is doing so while managing the daily aches and pains that have caught up with my body.  This has made me realize that I can’t just keep going and going without taking time to regularly nurture myself.

There is almost an underlying pressure that as special needs parents we have to be a super mom and a super dad, to keep our family unit functional and healthy, as well as to nurture our marriage and relationship.  I can assure you that I am no hero.  It is a situation where special circumstances had dictated the course of our family path and I wouldn’t change a thing if I had to do it over again.  I truly believe that we were meant to walk this very specific path and learn what it is that we were supposed to learn on our family journey.  I try to do what I can for my family, just like everyone else out there who has similar joys and struggles (and there are so many more joys and moments that take my breath away that outweigh any given struggle). 

In the past I had fallen into the old motherhood trap, where I focus on mostly everyone else but me.  This is something I know many other moms have done and will continue to do.  Lets face it - it's in our nature to do so.  While this is admirable, it is not the best thing for our health.  Granted, certain family situations may be much tougher than others, but we can only experience our own family situation and make it functional for us.  When I am having a difficult time, I try to remind myself that there is always someone having a tougher time, as well as someone having an easier time.  Thinking about this puts things right back into perspective for me.  

The worst thing that we can end up doing to ourselves, in retrospect, is forgetting to nurture and to take care and ourselves too.  When we carry on this way for a long time it becomes ingrained into our muscle memory, affecting our daily life and routines.  Just like learning a piano piece with the wrong fingerings, or wrong rhythms, where you repeat the wrong motions over and over, it becomes ingrained into muscle memory.  This is where repetition of actions leads to an automatic response over time.  Subsequently, in order to correct this error, we have to slow down our practicing to the point that we could reconfigure our muscle memory, and relearn the correct motion.  Equally, in parenting and special needs, it would be correcting our thinking and behaviors of not making time to nurture ourselves.  At that point, it's very difficult to break out of this cycle.  Change, as I know all too well, does not happen on its own, out of sheer will.  Change initially starts mentally, by slowing ourselves down enough in order shift our attitude, change our habits, and ultimately, taking action in a different direction.

One quote comes to my mind here:

"Life begins at the end of your comfort zone."

Neale Donald Walsch

Does this resonate with you too?

Over time, many things for our family have become so much easier.  Just the kids getting a little older has made a huge difference.  With autism however, as certain things get easier, different life stages present new challenges.  These new challenges are unpredictable and are so different for every individual on the spectrum.   Ironically, with being in school for so many years and having so many wonderful and beloved teachers, my son Jake has been the best teacher yet.  Yes, this cute little guy has been the most amazing teacher for me.  He is the one who has taught me to think about things in a completely different way.   He has taught me to think outside the box and to see things from new angles.  He has taught me to be a better person and a better mother to his younger siblings.   He has taught me to embrace life’s challenges and to focus my energy on the most important things.  I am so very proud of him and how far he has come.  I love his beautiful gentle spirit and his smile that melts my heart.  And I am so proud of our family and the love that we have for one another.

Setting A Few Specific Goals

What has probably helped me the most in creating a balance between family life and me time, is setting only a few specific goals and a concrete plan to be successful at achieving them.  One of my personal goals was to be more active.  So basically, anything new that I was going to start doing would mean being more active.  Jokes aside, I have been going for walks more often, and riding my bike when the weather is nice.  This is something that I want to keep going for the rest of my life.  It was important for me to choose an activity that was not overly taxing, that would be something that I could realistically envision myself continuing long-term.  It has become one of my favorite unwinding as well as energizing activities because it gives me a chance to have silence and to clear my head.  Silence is golden! As I like to teach my music students: silences are just as important as sound.  If we have non-stop sound, our ears get washed out with stimuli.  We get tired of filtering information, and then the music becomes the background, and not the most important thing.  The same holds true in our lives.  We need silence in order to process things and clear our minds.  This makes room for new information to soon get processed by an attentive receiver - us.   On the other hand, if I happen to crave stimuli, I listen to music while I walk.

"The music is not in the notes, but in the silence between."

Wolfgang Amadeus Mozart

Downtime

I prioritized plugging into activities that I enjoy for my down time.  Sometimes that means getting together with a friend over coffee, a dinner out, being creative, stretching (I like to do a mishmash of things I’ve picked up over the years: yoga, dance stretches, physical therapy stretches and Pilates).  It's easy, as moms, to feel guilty if we're not doing something constantly around the house.  After all, when we are at home, there is always something that demands our attention.  There is always something that needs to get done - the job is endless.  I therefore work on fighting the urge to get house stuff done when I'm exhausted, and I just let my mind and body rest without guilt.  I'm not always successful, because just the nature of being home begs to get something done, so I make a conscious effort to make downtime for myself.  It is the best gift that I can give myself.  This makes me so much more of a quality person for my family.

Moving forward in the new year has been about a journey to find my balance.  It is what strikes a chord in me, what motivates and moves me.  It sets my wheels in motion.  And sometimes, when I am parked in place a little too long and need some support, my husband Alex gives me a gentle loving push on the back and this momentum gets me propelling forward once again.  And sometimes, I just take a nap.

How do you like to create your balance?  I would love to know what strikes a chord in you.  Feel free to share here in the comments bellow.  I will part for now with a little old Irish saying, as you move forward in the new year:

The Terrible Two's At Age 6 1/2?

I remember reading a few weeks ago about Autism Speaks having a live chat with Dr. Temple Grandin.  Someone had asked her a question about communication and she shared that when she was a young child, she knew what she wanted to say in her mind.  She even had the exact words that she wanted to say, but couldn't physically get them out of her mouth.  Imagine how incredibly frustrating that would be.  I know that I would become angry if I were in that situation - wouldn't you? I have to wonder whether Jake is experiencing the same thing and is physically acting out of frustration.  Perhaps he is acting out to get some sort of sense of control?

I also have read (I can't remember which autism related book it was now) that "whenever in doubt, presume intelligence."  This means to always give your child the benefit of the doubt that he/she understands what's going on and what we are saying.  This is also why it's so important to not speak about your child and autism issues within his presence, as if he is not there.  This is something that Alex and I are consciously working on and we'll catch one another if we do this.  This brings me to the point that I had found myself in yesterday afternoon, after picking Jake up from his new summer program:

I am frustrated.   I am frustrated and tired.   I am tired of being frustrated.  I am frustrated and tired of going through the autism roller coaster of cyclical behaviors.  Right now Jake is into hitting and kicking and that's been going on for several months now.  It's completely ironic that my mild-mannered, sweet loving and gentle son is expressing his frustrations through hitting and kicking - but nonetheless, here we are.

It feels like some sort of developmental milestone.  It's like going through the "terrible two's," but we are six and a half years old, and weigh about 60 pounds.  In fact, it's Alex's theory that since Jake is developmentally delayed, that he's actually going through his "terrible two's" now; close to the age of seven.  Could this actually be a plausible theory?  It does make total sense to me.  The frustration that he's exhibiting, probably due to his speech delay/lack of speech, and not being able to quickly express his needs and thoughts verbally, is causing him to act out physically.  It also feels like an impulsive response to anything displeasing to him.

It is not easy to watch for me, and it is also the kind of behavior that doesn't get defused overnight; we've been dealing with this for several months now.  At first, it was just mostly during ABA therapy, but now that he started a summer camp program, these behaviors manifested themselves right away. Once again, I am frustrated that I don't have the right answers and I don't know what to do.  So here I am, frustrated on many levels - including being frustrated for him, on his behalf, that he's not able to express himself in a socially acceptable way right now.

I am worried that this behavior is not getting defused quickly enough and may be becoming his new norm for the time being.  I worry that if this doesn't get defused soon, that he may get kicked out of his summer program.  This is stressful for me because it means that the program failed to address this correctly, and it also means that I have less time to get things done at home, and have some time to myself.

My plan of attack is to come and be there with him during his program, observe his behavior and also see if my presence brings him some comfort.  Maybe this would help him settle in more easily to his new environment.  We will also have our BCBA (Board Certified Behavior Analyst - who works weekly with ABA therapy with Jake) come and discreetly observe him and see if he can give me and the teachers some feedback.


Now for some of the positive things that happened this week
1 - Jake started saying "Mommy" at the beginnings of his requests, and not just asking for things without calling me anything.
2 - When we were playing around he looked at me with a loving smile and said "I love you" all on his own.  This was non-prompted, which opened up the flood gates to at least ten more I love you's from him.
3 - He is now able to read 5-6 sight words in a row, when last week it was challenging for him.


Closing thoughts
There is definitely some growing that is taking place right now.  We tend to observe it with Jake in spurts and it's consistent with a pattern of two steps forward - one step back.  There are always back steps in his growing and learning process, but he keeps on consistently moving forward and developing in this type of progression.  While some things, like the undesired behaviors of kicking and hitting, are not pleasant and take a lot of persistence and work to defuse, other things, such as the positives that I reference above, are incredibly encouraging.  They bring me hope of what is still yet to come from this beautiful son of mine.  I am so thankful for those moments that take our breath away.  These moments are those times in our lives which inspire us to keep keeping on.  These moments inspire me to keep loving as much as humanly possible and to stay the course, one step at a time.

Autism Mom – Finding A Balance

As parents who work to facilitate learning/therapies for our kids who live with autism, we tend to put ourselves last.  I am no exception to this, and I fight the struggle of achieving a balance of priorities in my life regularly.  After all, getting through the day in our sort of household is about prioritizing, right?  I have come to realize over the years that what it really takes for me to feel happy is to have a state of balance in my life. 

When you are a family that is at the beginning of your autism journey, right after you receive the autism diagnosis, you basically just go on “survival mode.”  You do what you can as you prioritize the needs of your child.  As time passes and you sort of get into the swing of things: managing the household while facilitating schooling, therapies and appointments, you realize that hey, if I don’t take a time out to take care of myself, I will eventually get sick or simply burn out of doing the daily grind.   The problem is that we don’t have time to get sick and burn out, but our immune system is at higher risk when we are stressed.  More often than not, our kids get sick, it circulates to everyone in the house, and by the time it reaches us, we don’t have time to rest because we are taking care of one or more little ones who don’t feel well.  We have to stay healthy and well to manage the load, and it is always much more stressful when someone gets sick.  I am guilty of having said "I just don't have time to take care of myself," but what I was really feeling was more like: I just don't have the energy to take care of myself while dealing with a full load.  The only thing left to do to combat this dilemma, was to reshuffle my priorities and not forget to add myself onto the list this time.  In fact, why not just make a new list altogether?  So here we go:

My 7 personal must - haves for achieving a sense of well - being and balance

1.  Getting good sleep and proper rest

2.  Nurturing my marriage, family relationships and friendships

3.  Daily/weekly physical activity - Going for walks, being in the sun, breathing fresh air, stretching

4.  Seeking counseling support services when necessary

5.  Staying plugged in to my autism support group/networks – seeking and providing support

6.  Taking vitamins and necessary medications daily

7.  Staying connected to my creative/spiritual outlets – personal development and achieving  self-fulfillment from the things I love to do.

These “must haves” for me, are things that I have found along my way in my personal journey of being a mother who juggles: parenting a child on the autism spectrum, twins, military lifestyle, with a need for a creative outlet.  These are things that I have found that I cannot give up or live without.  I share these to provide support to others who may be dealing with something similar, in finding your own sense of balance, as you progress in your personal and family journey.  

So take that time out for yourself weekly, and daily and do something that brings happiness to you every single day.  If you wait for some point in the future to do this, you may realize that you’ve spent days carrying on and not having done anything for yourself that makes you happy – how fair is this to our kids?  I see this as equally important to doing everything else on the priority list.  It took me some time to finally get to this point where I am making this a priority.   It takes effort every day to keep it on my conscious and I am much more happy and fulfilled now.  I have found my balance and will continue to work on keeping it daily.  I will close off and wish you happy trails in finding your personal balance and share one of my favorite quotes: “When Mama’s not happy, ain’t nobody happy.”   

To new beginnings!

Walking On All The Keys

Miriam at the McWane Science Center

This past January, my parents were in town from Seattle for a two week visit.  It had been half a year since we last saw each other and we had a wonderful time together.  I always enjoy seeing my parents interact with the kids as they become increasingly more talkative.  We decided to go on an excursion to the McWane Science Center in Birmingham, Alabama.  It is about an hour and a half drive from Montgomery, and we were able to do something new, especially kid friendly, and simultaneously get the folks out for some new Alabama sights.  

Down town Birmingham, Alabama - On the way to the science center

We did this on a Sunday following a difficult week of Miriam and Jake waking up at night, upon our return from our big trip to the east coast.  We were tired and looking forward to getting back to the "normal" swing of things.  We realized that even though we were wiped, it would have been almost just as tiring to stay at home with the kids all day, as it would be to actively be out on some little adventure with them.   We do try to balance this out so that we are not always stuck at home, getting through the day with mostly indoor activities.

Jake pondering his future career as a scientist - or maybe he's just having fun

Jake and Miriam discussing future science experiments

As it turned out, we had a great time.  We did however have to actively chase the kids around.  At various points Jake had me running behind him from activity to activity.  I'm pretty sure that when he started speed walking, which turned into running faster and faster away from me, that what he really wanted was to be left alone to his own devices.  He wanted to explore the museum on his own terms - like that was ever going to happen.  Our plan of action was to have one adult be responsible for each child, and even though we were at an "advantage" with a ratio of four adults to three kids, they had us hustling all over the place.  Let's face it, as far as public scenarios go, a special needs child adds up to at least 2, and not 1.  So really, we were four to four and their team was winning.  At various points, we were widely spread out at different stations with the kids, checking in with each other from time to time via texting.  Good thing for modern technology!  It wasn't the ideal situation, but that's the way it typically is in children's museum type of settings for us - we made it work.  Jake was extremely interested in many of the areas and activities in the museum.  Some of his favorites were the water play area, the lit up science tubes, and the Wilfred the dog play areas with the sand castle bathtub.

It wasn't easy to get Max away from the restaurant play area

We decided from the get-go to get a year's family membership, which would pay for itself in just two visits and had us committed to coming back.  We also received a military discount, which is always very appreciated.   If you should ever be in the area, we highly recommend this museum.  If you do have a child on the autism spectrum, it can create a bit of a sensory overload.  You may need to later balance this out with lots of quiet down time.  For us, it was still very much worth the aftermath, and luckily, there were no consequential meltdowns.  The key, is to not overstay past the point of no return for the special needs child.  Once you start seeing signs of maxing out from your kiddo, it's a good idea to not over do it, and just call it a day.

Jake catching a break from all the action

With the ups and downs of family life with special needs, we don't always play all of the right keys.  In the science center though, we can figure out the right notes by walking on the keys in our very own sound experiment.  During our childhood, we are all little explorers and little artists.  The take away here, is not to lose that childish naivete and fascination with the hows and the whys that children love to ask.  By keeping that creative spark alive when finding something mysterious and new, we find ourselves experiencing the kind of wonderment that only a wide-eyed child can posses in it's truest organic form.  And that, my friends, is science!

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Lily and the Roses ~ 

Creativity with Autism, Twins and Military Adventures 

http://lilybrose1948.blogspot.com

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The Perfect Rose

The Perfect Rose is a companion piece to my second post: 1-2-3 And Nobody's Talking: http://lilybrose1948.blogspot.com/2012/10/1-2-3-and-nobodys-talking.html  I wrote this piece as a means to track and share about the changes that we've recently experienced with our kids' progress in their individual speech therapies.

Things have not been as black and white for us as I had hoped, but we try to do what we can.  We continue to facilitate learning, to plug into the necessary ports and move forward.  Reading my previous post first, will present to you what had preceded the point at which we have arrived today, and give you a more complete picture.  We have lots of good stuff to look forward to - all the way around!

Jake at a local pumpkin patch farm

Talk is not cheap 

For our family, talk has been nothing short of cheap.  I mean this in the sense that all of our kids have had to go through speech therapy.  Thank goodness for our military health insurance - a huge perk! Had we been paying out of pocket for all of the speech therapy that we've accrued over the past few years, we would be hurting worse financially.  In the civilian world, our life would in no doubt be more complicated in this respect.  We would do what we had to do regardless, and we would find a way to make it work.  It is no wonder that non military families facing special needs take a much harder financial blow, and that's just speaking inside the US.  Granted, many non military families have the ability to make larger incomes than military ones.  It is often at the expense of longer work hours, which means less family time, less vacation time, and poorer quality of health insurance coverage. 

Autism - Past and Present

We are fortunate to experience autism not only in the US, but in this day and age.  Some thirty, forty years ago, it was commonly misdiagnosed with mental retardation and schizophrenia.  Autistic individuals, including very young children, were isolated and institutionalized.  It makes me absolutely furious and horrified at the type of misguided treatment endured by especially vulnerable individuals in our society.

Can you imagine being a parent back at that primitive (comparatively speaking) time, having a psychiatrist pressure you to institutionalize your child?  Imagine how much tougher it was on parents back then.  Moreover, it was all too common to cast blame on the child's mother.  Yes, that was done too - when in doubt, place guilt on a mother, as if mothers weren't going through enough heartache already.

Even though autism has been around for a while, in this sense, it feels like a fairly new field.  There is still so much to discover - so many unanswered questions.  We are hearing more and more about it possibly because it is being diagnosed more accurately now, and therefore, more adequate therapy is being provided.

ABA therapy, (Applied Behavioral Analysis) which has been scientifically proven to help individuals living with autism, is thankfully covered by military insurance.  Out of pocket, it runs an astronomical $3000 per month in the US!  Research repeatedly points to the two main components being environmental and genetic factors.  It is for the most part though, still a mystery, even though our family and other autism families across the globe, live with it 24/7.

Alex and Max

Tick Tock Clicks the Clock

In my post, 1-2-3 And Nobody's Talking, I share about our journey with all three kids learning to speak.  The twins had different issues than Jake; they were naturally more on a similar time frame with each other in their language development.  Over the past few months, they have well surpassed their older sibling.  While we are absolutely thrilled, delighted, and rejoice in all of the progress that they've made, this has been bitter-sweet for us in one respect.  It sets in the reality of Jake's developmental delays even more.

This is the reminder that we are at a race against the clock.  The clock is ticking, and we need to equip our son with skills and tools to help him lead a fulfilling life.  Whether we consciously think it or not, it is always an underlying pressure.  Tick tock; there is only so much that we can do at any given point.  The rest?  The rest is letting nature take it's course.  How do we know when to take a back seat in this learning process?

I have those days where this reality hits home pretty hard for me.  It is not easy not to take it to heart, but I try to think about the many positive things that are happening in Jake's life, and the ongoing progress that he is making at his own pace.  Doing this, is like shifting into another gear, in a way, and selecting the right way to think about it all.  Our thoughts are a powerful thing.  It is so important to keep positive and encouraging, because our children depend on this kind of energy from us - they depend on our hopeful spirit and loving heart.

My son Max, is so in tuned to what others are feeling.  Just the other day, when we were sitting at the kitchen table and I wasn't feeling well, he asked me "Mom, why are you sad?" He thought that I was sad because I was quiet for what he deemed of as too long.  His precious heart just wanted to make sure that I was doing okay.  That was a little reminder for me, of how much our kids feed off of our energy.

We choose to take a realistic approach to accepting where Jake is at any given point in his development.  He is such a wonderful, smart, sweet, gentle boy with a kind spirit.  His smile just makes your heart melt and his words are music to my ears.  Keeping things in perspective though, we have no delusions of autism being a life-long condition.  We are in it for the marathon and not the sprint.  Therefore, we have to pace ourselves for the long haul. 

This is why all of Jake's small successes are a big, no, a huge deal for us.  The other morning, for example, Alex told Jake "I love you," and he answered back "I love you too."  He had never done that before!  Typically, he would repeat the words "I love you" back, or "I love you, please."  He would often tag a "please" at the end of many of his phrases.  Saying something in the correct and functional way is always exciting for us to hear; It is a little special blessing to our day.

Dad and son at a football game - every outing is a learning opportunity

The ABC's of ABA

Jake's speech issues are directly linked to his autism and global developmental delays.  He is now blurring words together to the point where it's hard to understand what he's saying part of the time.  When he does speak coherently, and we don't expect it, we then make a big deal about how awesome that was.  We'll give him lots of reinforcements: complimenting, tickling and hugging, and of course, give him whatever he may be requesting at the time.

To be more specific, he was already at a point where he was speaking more clearly, using up to 5 - 6 word sentences (one sentence at a pop).  He had previously gone through a several month stage of (for lack of a better word) grunting out his words.  This, if you can imagine, is disheartening to see, as he's made a lot of progress already.  This can feel like a step back.

As I've previously mentioned in an earlier post, with Jake's development, it's two steps forward, one step back.  We just have to hang in there emotionally during the step back time, because all of the steps collectively, are a part of the larger learning process - not just for him, but for us, his parents, as well.  Don't give up hope when your child takes a step back - this is not uncommon with autism.

Through the guidance of our BCBA, (Board Certified Behavior Analyst) we work on this by withholding things that Jake wants, until he says a word/phrase correctly (without grunting it out or blurring words together).  This is what in ABA speak is called  a motivator.  For example, if Jake wants a snack or his IPad, we insist that he requests coherently before giving him his desired object.  He can do it, he just has to be motivated to get what he wants.

This principle, pretty much goes against every parent's natural instinct of unconditional love, of giving their child what he wants, and not withholding it.  Much of the ABA principles are completely unnatural for a parent to perform.  It's almost like learning another language for us.  We have had to become fairly fluent in ABA in order to facilitate learning and help our child around the clock, when therapists are not around. 

The concept of a child having to be motivated to perform a request, should not be confused with laziness.  Speech and social aspects are the two main deficits in autism - "the big-hitters".  What comes naturally to a neuro-typical child, like easily requesting a desired object, does not necessarily come naturally to a child with autism.  Basically, different wiring in the brain causes simple things to not be so simple here.

By reinforcing ABA therapy principles, we are able to teach our child how to perform an action.  That one action, (to an inexperienced observer) which may look like it came naturally to Jake, probably took many many repetitions to achieve that "simple" result. 

The lesson here is, 
don't take anything your child does for granted, 

because that simple thing that you see your child doing daily, 

may be much more difficult
 for the child that lives right next door.

Miriam and Max playing in the back yard

Double Time

For the twins, it was initially a speech delay (meaning their speech development was behind that of their peers).  While they have caught up in their vocabulary, they now need some work on articulation.   By the summer of 2012, they were catching up verbally, so we started phasing them out of speech therapy.  While they had caught up language wise since then, they have recently showed recurring as well as new articulation issues in their re-evaluation.

I wondered and asked if these type of issues were age-appropriate, and whether they would resolve themselves over time.  The therapist did not think so, and wanted to address these issues on a regular basis with them.  It's not a scary thing for me, as it was early on.  Back then, they weren't speaking at all (by the age of 15 months), and we feared possible special needs.

Over time, we realized that there weren't special needs involved, other then what I refer to as a "pure Vanilla" speech delay.  This time, we can approach it with a lighter mindset.  They will go once a week to their back-to-back half hour speech sessions, and we will reinforce what's necessary back home.  We are probably looking at several months to a year's time frame. 

Gratitude

You will never hear me tell a younger parent that "once they start talking, they don't stop, and you just want them to be quiet for a little while."  I love the sound of my children's voices and all of the things that they say, even when they are being obstinate.  I still love having them verbalize their feelings, and I mostly try to keep my giggle on the inside, as I find (most of) it very cute.

Having them be where they are today, I take as a blessing with open arms and a thankful heart.  When I keep things in perspective, I am more inclined to be appreciative of how far all three kids have come.  The same holds true for how far Alex and I have come in modifying our parenting approach and adapting to the challenges that we have faced along the way. 

One afternoon, I sat in the courtyard garden of Baptist East Hospital, where all three of our kids go for speech therapy.  I go to the courtyard when it's not too hot and humid as it typically is in the deep South on a summer day.  Catching a quiet moment of solitude and reflection, out of the corner of my eye, I spotted a perfectly blooming rose.

Within that one passing glimpse, this one rose captured all of the beauty in our family's journey.  It was as if the thorns on its stem represented the parents that had to grow a thicker skin, in order to undergo the daily in's and out's of life with autism and speech delays.  They are the protectors, advocates and nurturers of the beautiful flower head, the young child that blooms and grows, reaching his full blooming potential when tended to with care and with love.

That summer's day, that one rose had a very personal meaning for me.  It represented a symbol of hope; and without hope, we couldn't have possibly come as far as we have today.  Our inner thoughts are an incredibly powerful thing.  They affect what we say and how we respond to others.

With this message I convey to you to never give up hope, your inner fire, your inner flame.  Find meaning in the little things that can inspire, like the rose did for me.  Life with special needs can sometimes seem like an uphill battle, but you have to push through those moments of doubt and weakness and stay the course for your family.  It is with hope for the future, and gratitude for all that we have been through at this point in our lives, that we can keep climbing.  The key, is to do so without losing sight of where we are headed, and all of the beauty that is yet to greet us on our path.  We have yet to experience all of the high points of this uncharted landscape.

The Perfect Rose - Montgomery, Alabama

Visit my blog:  

Lily and the Roses ~ 

Creativity with Autism, Twins and Military Adventures 

http://lilybrose1948.blogspot.com

Leave me a comment if you find any of my posts meaningful to you.  Feel free to share posts with your friends to help us raise autism awareness and acceptance.

 

Visit my other blog: 

Creationlily.blogspot.com 

Where I display 

my artwork, music compositions and travel photos 

Stop by and share posts with your friends

Creationlily

Book on the Roof

A couple of Sundays ago, Alex left for the Army JAG School in Charlotsville, Virginia.   We had been there together several years ago, when Jake was a baby and Alex had a military course.  It is a lovely area with great restaurants and beautiful scenery.   As the days got closer, I felt myself getting more stressed about holding down the fort on my own.  Knowing I wasn't going to have an easy week ahead, Alex gave up his usual Sunday morning to sleep in.  Those two days in a row of sleeping in, almost felt like a mini-spa vacation weekend, especially, since during the following week, I barely slept.   Still, I was anxious about the week that was coming right up, but more refreshed than usual, thanks to my thoughtful guy - a true mensch.

Max, remembering that his dad's last trip was to Alaska, would say throughout the week "Dad, I wanna go wiyou Awaska."  Alex would correct him and tell him that he's not leaving yet, and that he's going to Virginia this time.  "You go Ginia Dad?" Max would question.  "How about the next time Dad goes to Alaska, I take you with me?" to which I quickly added, "make sure you mention, not on business, because you could feasibly get sent there again."   So at some point down the road, Max will be looking forward to a trip to snowman's land, because a child mostly hears what he wants to hear, of course. 

Alex was gone by 9:45 AM that Sunday morning.  As the clouds came into alignment at high noon, little disasters start brewing and stewing, revving up their engines; contemplating what to throw my way, and in which order.  It was only a matter of time before I get hit with the first one.   Like clockwork, there are always potty accidents when dad goes out of town.   It didn't happen just yet, but I was anticipating it - trying to get into a defensive mode of play.   The Wonder Woman costume was proverbially coming out of the closet, and as an emblem, getting thrown on.  The invisible jet hovers over the house in preparation for the first indication of trouble.   Low and behold, it came from the least likely source, later that afternoon.

Mistake #1 - Why did I bother trying to get the twins down for a nap today?

I hand Jake his IPad after lunch and proceed to get the twins down for a nap.  Before I know it, I am in there for a whole hour.  This already leaves me slightly agitated so I decide to leave them in there, to see if they quiet down and go to sleep on their own.  I know that this was probably wishful thinking.  It has happened on occasion though, and I needed the break.  I then take Jake outside to play.

Mistake #2 - Why did I let Jake take his book outside?

Over the past couple of weeks, Jake has been trying to take his toys out into the yard.  Big hit items include books, stuffed animals, and anything else that he can get his hands on; throwing it up in the air to see what happens.  That sounds like a good enough plan.  From past experience, I've learned to block him from taking his stuffed animals outside, as they often end up getting thrown into the neighbor's yard.  I can fully appreciate the thrill factor for him.  The book, well, he mostly wants to hold it while he's on the swing or the slide.  So what's the worse that could happen, right? 

Wrong!  At that point I remember that I ought to go in to check on the twins, as they are not yet quieting down.  I open the door and witness the twins in the process of busily moving Miriam's bed across the room; Max simultaneously informs me that he needs to go potty.  We take care of this matter, and I order the troops to get back to bed, as I shift gears into my tough authoritative tone; letting them know that I'm not playing around this time.  Out I go into the back yard, and see that Jake clearly appears to be very irritated.  "Book, book, I want book."  I realize that his book is missing.  I start looking all over the yard for it, asking him what he did with his book, and why did he take his book out there?  I then turn around to face the house, giving into the notion of a possible ridiculous scenario.  I slowly lift my head to look up.  The book is on the roof! Oy!  Threatening to take the book away if he does this again, I resort to that (mostly) authoritative tone; realizing that yes, I shouldn't have let him take the book out there in the first place.

The book on the roof

Now what? My kid is upset, and his book is on the roof!  It's not the kind of thing that you'd expect to see at someone's house on any given day, but there we were.  If there were only a fiddler up there to ask for help (I chuckle on the inside).  In past scenarios, I've gotten Puppy (his favorite stuffed animal) off the roof when it was close to the edge, but I wasn't sure that I could reach the book.   Thinking on my feet, I go to the laundry room to get the step ladder and kitchen broom.  I march back outside, feeling less then thrilled, proceeding to climb up the ladder with my fuzzy slippers and polka-dotted bathrobe.  Moments later, I triumphantly rescue the book off the roof.  Returning it to Jake, I remind him that throwing the book on the roof again, will result in its confiscation.   I then should have had Jake go back inside.  The day was still young however, and I didn't want him to be inside for too long, fearing he would get restless.   That is our most encountered issue during the weekends.  Before I am able to make the right call, I get distracted with noise coming from the twins' room.  I go back inside to have the cute sleepy-eyed energizer bunnies come out and play in the family room. 

Mistake #3 - Why did I leave the twins to "nap" in their room after I checked in on them for the second time?  The third time I return to their room, I see that their room has been basically flipped upside down - the stuffed animals are all over Max's bed, and books are scattered all over the floor.  I hurriedly start cleaning up, fearing that I am probably nearing the next strike of disaster, and remember that I ought to check up on Jake.  I go outside.  It's like Groundhog Day: "Book, book, I want book,"  my son exclaims.  This time, Book is farther up the roof.  I shout "Jake, I told you not to throw the book up there again!"  Followed by "This time Mommy can't get it down!"  I figure that the book would probably just get blown off at the next wind storm, or eventually disintegrate in the rain.  In any case, it was a job that was not going to get completed on this day, by this one mom.  We came back into the house and I return to my unfinished cleaning project.

As I putt items away in the twin's room, I notice that Max's bed is covered in gold glitter.  I couldn't figure out how the glitter got there, but now there was the additional task of shaking out the sheet and remaking the bed.  One task leads to another, and another task, followed by yet another, in a string of miscellaneous tasks; a glorious taskophony!  When was it going to end?!  Max's voice interrupts my cluttered thoughts with "Miriam peed!" Okay, I thought, I will take care of it when I'm done cleaning up (reassured that she's in a pull-up).  A minute later, I hear him say the same thing, and then Miriam comes to inform me of the unpleasant news, in an unhappy tone.  I go to check, and think oh, no big deal, as I see the pull-up.  Two seconds later, I quickly do a double take.  I realize that it's not a pull-up; she had put herself into underwear all by herself, for the first time!  It had to be on the weekend I was on my own, of course.  As I go to change her, she starts to lose her balance, hits my face with such a force that you wouldn't expect to come from the hand of a three year old, right onto my glasses.  "Ouch!" I respond loudly.  This causes her to cry, adding to the unfortunate stringed series of ridiculous events.  I have to stop everything to take the necessary time out to comfort her, before anything else.  To make a long story short, we got through it.  Everything and everyone (eventually) got cleaned up.

It was just about time again for the brewing of the next disaster.

I take the kids to play in the back yard and within a couple of minutes, I notice that Jake is holding Book again.  But how??  I slowly look up at the roof, and there is no book up there.  How did this happen? It wasn't windy outside for the book to blow off the roof.  It wasn't even breezy, for that matter.   Maybe it was the invisible jet, or perhaps it was the fiddler on the roof?  Why not?  I came up with all sorts of ideas just to lighten up my deteriorated mood.  I needed a good laugh, but I had absolutely no practical answer to this dilemma.

My little Fiddler lost his violin bow in San Antonio

The following day I was playing with Jake outside, and he said "book!" again.   He got up on one of the lawn chairs and motioned up to the roof.  Much to my dismay, there it was - after all the trouble yesterday.  That little book was up there on the roof, again.  It wasn't however situated at the same spot from yesterday, but several feet away at the crease of the roof, and several feet higher.  I chalked it up to not having seeing it there yesterday, possibly due to the way the light hit the roof.  I still couldn't figure out however, how the book had moved several feet over from it's original location.  Even so, my child wanted his book, and I had no idea how to get it.

After I returned home from picking up the twins, later that evening, Jake's ABA tutor told me that Jake did something very clever.  When they were playing/working outside he said "book" to her and climbed on the lawn chair to motion for it, as he had done so with me.  She looked up, saw the book, and most assuredly said to herself, holy cow, there's a book on the roof! - "how do we get it down?" she asked Jake (not anticipating a response, but just talking out loud), to which he actually answered with an unprompted reply, "throw the ball!"  Thrilled to have him verbalize this, she texted me as I was driving, disclosing that something exciting had happened back home, but didn't give away the surprise.  She did as Jake suggested.  She threw the ball up at the roof several times, finally hitting the book.  Sure enough, down came Book.  

#1 smart thing that I did all day?

I hired a babysitter from 4-8PM and went to see a movie and have dinner with a friend.  Ironically, the movie was Silver Lining.  By the time that 4PM rolled around, I needed the break from all the mishigas (chaos, in Yiddish).  This felt like I was intelligently able to plan ahead for some down time, and I was pretty pleased with myself for concocting up this wicked little plan.   Later that evening, it initially took me half an hour to get Jake to sleep.  After talking with Alex that night on the phone, I heard noise coming from Jake's room and saw that his light was on.  I realized that this wasn't going to be a quick fix, as nothing was that day.  It took me an additional hour to get him back to sleep.  This was day #1 of Alex's week away.  I felt reassured that it would be the most eventful one here.  The rest should be easier coasting.  As the school week begins, I would have some time during the day to pace and recharge myself for the kids.  

After Alex returned home from his trip and previewed this current post, he said "so that's how the book got off the roof  - Jake had thrown the ball up there all by himself and knocked the book down that way."  Now, why didn't I think of that? Apparently, I did not give my son enough credit for his clever problem solving skills, although, I had always said that he was a good problem solver, hum!

So what do I take away from this experience?  How do I try to be more prepared for the next time that Alex goes out of town? What is the moral of this story anyway?  I came up with the following:

Trying to have a "normal" day when your co-captain-teammate is out of town, 

is like thinking that you can escape to the roof to read a book;

It doesn't happen very often.  

So get through it as best as you can.

Don't worry about being graceful or being judged,

and laugh about it later over a glass of wine.

We are a team, Alex and I.  We do the best that we can.  We both make a big effort on our individual side.  I do more with the kids when he's gone, and he has to endure being away from the family and the comforts of home.  We make mistakes.  We try to learn something from them.  We move on to the next thing.

To other military moms out there, who endure similar scenarios when a spouse is away;  I salute all that you do.  Be brave holding down the fort, and may the power be with you!

What are some of your tips for making this kind of scenario work in your home?  Do special needs or other a-typical aspects play into your family equation?  I'd love to know if you have any suggestions or funny bits to share.  Feel free to post your ideas in my comment section bellow.

Cheers!

Lily and the Roses

Don't Worry Duckies!

1 parent
2 grandparents
3 children
3 bottles of juice
1 Chex mix
1 stop at CVS to pick up
2 loaves of white bread

and don't worry duckies - here we come!  

It's a lovely sunny 68 degrees in Montgomery, Alabama on a Saturday morning in mid January.  You couldn't ask for a better day than this.  A soft refreshing breeze graces my hair, as a white heron flies overhead and lands at the edge of the pond.  A sparkling ray of sunlight reflects on the calm water, where ducks and geese paddle closer into focus.

My folks, whom I haven't seen in half a year, are in town from Seattle for ten days.  We decide to take the kids on an outing, and let Alex stay home and get some much needed rest.  We have been back home for about a week and a half, since our return from our road trip to the east coast.  It hasn't been easy for the kids to get back to their sleeping routines.  Because of that, Alex and I haven't been sleeping well either.  Alex has been getting up with the kids at all sorts of ungodly hours of the night, and letting me rest - bless his heart, as they say here in the South.  Last night, was the first night that the kids finally slept through the entire night, awaking at 6:30 AM!  "Daddy, I slept through the night!" said three year old Miriam to Alex, when he went to get her from her room.  Let's hope that we are back to our groove, we both thought, breathing a sigh of relief.  This morning, I was informed that my dear daughter was up again in the middle of the night.  Alex was up with her, yet again....

We haven't been able to get back to "normal" yet.  For our family, this just means that everyone gets back on track with their routines, school, therapies and regular sleeping cycles.  It's hard to believe how well Jake has been doing with much of his therapies.  He must have really been missing and craving his structured day.  He pretty smoothly got back to his groove, almost right away.  Usually, a change in routine for him on any sort of level, whether it's Alex going out of town, Alex and I being out of town (which doesn't happen very often), or an entire family trip, involves some sort of serious aftermath and paying for it by us on some level.  Typically, this involves undesired sleep deprivation. I have to say, that this is the best that Jake has done post trip, since I can ever recall.  My daughter, on the other hand, had not been doing great as far as sleeping goes, and we were really looking forward to getting past this much undesired hump.

Montgomery Museum of Fine Art

Alabama Shakespeare Festival Theater

Alex and I have been walking around like two zombies, just doing what we could, to get through the day.  We've returned to that one day at a time mode that we lived by early on in the twins' lives.   That's okay, we are able to shift back into that mode, and had become well versed in this respect.  "One day at a time", was my life motto during my twin pregnancy and Alex's deployment.  It's what I had called the "pre baby boot camp", which had prepared me for the "post baby boot camp" after the twins were born.  This was when all of the mishigas (craziness in Yiddish) and the chaos had really began, along the time frame of Jake's new autism diagnosis, back in the summer of 2009.  We've had lots of one days at a time.  This one day at a time thing, we knew how to do.

 
Quack, quack, quack, "don't worry duckies, I'll give you more bread," shouts my three year old son Max, as we giggle at his enthusiasm over this morning's chosen activity.  One of my favorite spots which we've discovered in Montgomery, pretty early on during our military assignment here, is the Blount Cultural Park.  It is a short drive away, and for me, it's one of Montgomery's precious gems.  On the grounds, are the Alabama Shakespeare Festival Theater, the Montgomery Museum of Fine Art, ponds and walking trails.  The museum has a large children's art exploration wing and is free entry.  It is a great way to spend a hot and humid summer's day for restless out of school kids.  Our folks always enjoy coming with us there when they are in town on one of their visits.  The kids' favorite spot at this lovely park is inside the bridge's terrace.  Overlooking the duck and turtle pond, the kids are delighted to throw chunks of white bread onto their eagerly awaiting audience.  This is followed by encore after encore of whatever remaining breadcrumbs are found at the bottom of the bag.

So don't worry duckies, we will be back sometime soon with more bread.  Meanwhile, the Roses will get back into their groove.  In a few days' time, we'll be hopefully paddling in our own little pond, with some much desired coasting time, staying afloat and steadily moving forward.

Visit my blog:  

Lily and the Roses ~ 

Creativity with Autism, Twins and Military Adventures 

http://lilybrose1948.blogspot.com

Leave me a comment if you find any of my posts meaningful to you.  Feel free to share posts with your friends to help us raise autism awareness and acceptance.
 

Visit my other blog: 

Creationlily.blogspot.com 

This is where I display 

my artwork, music compositions and travel photos 

Stop by and share posts with your friends

Creationlily